Filed under: Activism
This past week was World Breastfeeding Week. Why is this important? Well, because breastfeeding is so important! If you’ve never breastfed, you probably don’t understand. I don’t mean that to be nasty, it’s just the truth. Breastfeeding is one of the most normal functions of the body. It’s a natural extension from pregnancy and birth. When I got pregnant I knew I would breastfeed. It seemed like the normal way to feed my baby and I didn’t like the idea of formula. Back then I didn’t know all I know now. About how formula nowhere meets the nutritional values of breastmilk. Beyond that, formula lacks the antibodies, stem cells and healthy fats breastmilk does. Breastmilk also helps build the immune system and healthy flora. Breastmilk is the foundation for life-long health!
Breastfeeding has been a part of my life for the past four and a half years (there was a break for a few months, but I was pregnant, so my breasts were working!). My first child breastfed until he was three years old. We had photos taken to celebrate the one year mark. We nursed for comfort and nutrition. Through illnesses and bumps and bruises. My milk dried up when I was about four and a half months pregnant with my third pregnancy (I lost my second pregnancy). When my baby was born, my first child breastfed on occasion and continued to do so into his fourth year. My second child is now 13 months and continues to breastfeed throughout the day and night. I admit, breastfeeding is a little selfish for me. I have to sit down and nurse my sweet baby several times a day. We get to spend time in the rocking chair snuggling. There is nothing in the world like sitting with a squishy baby when the day is hectic. Taking time out to take a breath and just love your children. When we nurse, my daughter will rub my chest or arm and look into my eyes. These tender moments will be cherished for the rest of my life.
We had photos taken of my daughter nursing when she was a newborn and have year celebration photos planned in the near future. Facebook often deletes breastfeeding photos claiming them to be a violation of their policies. Of course there’s mixed reaction from people. I see a lot of people asking why women take breastfeeding photos to begin with and then why they feel the need to share them. I certainly can’t speak for every breastfeeding mother, but I can tell you my view. We take photos of our children because we want to capture that memory. I’ve seen photos of babies with bottles or taking their first bites of food. The same goes for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is very special to many women who do it. We want to capture those moments and share them with our friends. We are proud. Breastfeeding, even when it come easily and we don’t have hurdles, takes work! It is an accomplishment and deserves to be recorded and have its moment in the sun. Breastfeeding is more than just feeding my child. We are connected on a level I never imagined possible through breastfeeding. It’s incredibly sentimental and emotional for me and I am honored that I am able to share these times with both of my children.
August 7, 2011
WARNING: This post contains actual photos of menstruation. If that sort of thing grosses you out, look no further. I documented this for educational purpose and to better help women understand the use of menstrual cups.
I had my second child in July 2010. I was hoping my period would stay away for at least ten months like it did after my first child. So, when I was six months postpartum (PP), in January, and I had egg-whit cervical mucus (EWCM), I was a little bummed. Not that I mind getting my period. I actually kind of like it. I like watching my body work. I just wanted to keep fertility at bay a bit longer. So, the week after that EWCM, I got my first PP period and I bled for 7 days. Certainly not unusual when the uterus is waking up after having a baby. My usual menstruation lasts about 4 days and isn’t that heavy – that is after switching to a menstrual cup. Before that, I had very heavy period that lasted about 7 days and came with horrible cramps. Once I switched to the cup, it lightened up quite a bit and my cramping almost nearly subsided. My cycles last about 29 days.
When menstruation returns PP, it can be irregular. So, I didn’t know when to expect her return after that January period. I just kept an eye on my cervical mucus and used back up when I had sex. It wasn’t until 45 days later that I got another period. This time it was pretty normal for me and lasted four days. Fifteen days after the end of that period, I had EWCM for two days. Five days later, I got my third period. So, this cycle was 21 days. I thought it would be very helpful and interesting to document menstruation and show photos of a menstrual cup levels. I’m not sure why menstruation is viewed as gross overall. I find it to be very interesting and even empowering. We shouldn’t be embarrassed and uncomfortable talking about it. Why is this ingrained in us?
On the first day of menstruation, I woke up at 3am feeling like she was coming. I went to the bathroom and put in my cup. There are a few different ways to fold a cup for insertion, but this is how I do it. I squeeze my cup to it’s in “half” and then fold it in half, so it looks like a ‘U’. Then, it’s ready for insertion. You just put it in like a tampon and it will pop open. It does take a little practice, but it’s simple and only takes a couple seconds once you get it down. So, I put it in and went back to bed. At 9am, I got in the shower. My routine is this: I get in the shower, remove and rinse my cup. Shower and then put my cup back in before getting out. 
I typically empty once during the day and then again before bed on my heavier days. Other days I just do the shower rinse and then again before bed. When I took my cup out at 9am it only had a small amount of brownish blood topped off with a nice amount of vaginal fluid. Tampons absorb blood and regular vaginal secretions, which dry out the vagina and can cause tiny, micro-tears. All that can contribute to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). Menstrual cups do not cause TSS. I empty my cup, rinse and put it back in for the day.
Around 11am I got an achy feeling in my labia. Instead of the painful abdominal cramping, I get achy labia. Interesting, right? This only started after the birth of my first child. When I was using tampons after that birth, it wasn’t an ache, but pain that radiated down my thighs. Since I was having this aching, I decided to go check my cup. It was filled up to the inside brim – after only 2 hours. You can see in the photo my fingers are clean – and that IS the hand I removed the cup with. Since everything stays in the cup (and doesn’t “bleed” down a cord) your fingers stay clean! After I emptied it, the aching went away.
It came back at 3pm, I emptied my cup (which was nearly full again). I emptied it once more at 7:30pm and it was full again. Before I went to bed at 12:30am I emptied it one last time. I woke up at 6am feeling wet. I went to the bathroom and took my cup out – it had overflowed!! Note my messy fingers. This has never happened to me while using a cup! I wasn’t too excited about this and hoping it isn’t a sign of heavier periods after birth number two. Like I said, I don’t mind my period, however part of enjoying a cup is that you don’t have to change it as often as a tampon. Having to empty my cup every couple hours and leaking overnight, certainly puts a damper on things! Day two stayed very heavy. I had to empty my cup every few hours and it was always nearly full.
Day three was more like it! I was able to revert to my normal schedule and my cup was not quite half full each time I emptied. I don’t have any of the usual PMS symptoms. I don’t get bloated and my breasts aren’t sore. I do, however, crave sweets. Well, crave them more than usual. One of my besties is also menstruating and she mentioned a peanut butter chocolate sundae. Extra gooey. That is all I needed to push me over the chocolate edge. I made a chocolate cream pie the next day. It was glorious! My flow started to slow down a bit into day 4. The blood started to darken up to a deep red and was getting thicker. 
I find it so fascinating to be able to actually see how much blood is being shed during a cycle. Knowing how much blood you are losing can be beneficial in determining if you are losing “too much”. Large amounts of blood loss can be a sign that something is going on that needs to be addressed by your OB/GYN. My hope is that more women will become comfortable with menstruation and the idea of using a cup. Menstruation is not something to be embarrassed by (it’s only a little blood, after all!). It serves a purpose and it is a beautiful process!
Day five things are coming to a wrap. Light flow turning over to a brown color. You can see the separation of blood and vaginal fluid in the picture. There is more vaginal fluid than blood. Pretty cool, right? This cycle hasn’t been too bad overall. I’m sure it will take a few more to get things ironed out and back to normal for me. I suspect things will revert to four days and be manageable. It’s so convenient not to have to change a tampon or empty a cup on the trail or beach. I kept note of how much fluid I emptied each time and measured it all out at the end. In all this period, I lost approximately 8oz or about 250ml. I was actually a little startled by this, since 80ml is the high end of the normal range and anything over that is considered Menorrhagia, or an abnormally heavy period. I will continue to monitor my flow for my next few cycles and see my HP if things continue on like this.
So, there you have it! I really hope you’ve all enjoyed reading about this and maybe a few of you are even more intrigued about using a menstrual cup now. Give it a go! They are super easy to use, comfortable, good for your body and the Earth, and save you lots of cash every month. I’m also hoping a few women become more open about their periods after reading this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and something to take joy in. Our cycles enable us to have babies! Our bodies are amazing vessels!! Honor your body and be well!
April 5, 2011
There’s a lot of talk about “personal choice” surrounding parenting. Whether it’s the birth you want (natural vs. medicated), how to feed your child (breast or formula) to whether to vaccinate (or not). I want to talk about personal choice and what that means. Personally (pun intended), I think everything is a personal choice. Every decision we make is a personal one. It’s a personal choice to eat at McDonalds or to eat organically. It’s a personal choice to smoke cigarettes. The clothing we wear is a personal choice. Why is it necessary to say, “The choice to breastfeed or not is a very personal one”?
The Surgeon General put out a call to action to encourage and support more women to breastfeed. Although, it’s stated in the article that breastfeeding is a personal choice. Does that change the fact that breastmilk is the optimum food for infants? Breast is not best. Breast is normal. Breast is standard nutrition for all infants and toddlers. Breastfeeding establishes healthy eating habits, healthy weight, and a healthy immune system. Saying it’s a personal choice doesn’t change those facts. A fact is a fact. It doesn’t mean someone is less of a mother for formula feeding. There is no judgement. However, we can’t deny the facts.
I believe every child deserves to be breastfed. Why do I care? Because nutrition is so important! There is a huge misconception that formula is just as good as breastmilk. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, I realize there are some instances when a mother must give her child formula. No, I don’t think a mother should let her child die instead of giving formula. What I do want is for mothers to be fully informed of the differences and what is in formula. How are we supposed to support and encourage breastfeeding, without, well, encouraging and stating facts? Breastmilk is so complex and it is the absolute perfect nutrition for every child. In addition to real vitamins and minerals, breastmilk contains stem cells, antibodies and healthy fats. An amazing fact – a mother’s breastmilk actually changes to suit her child! It’s so wonderful and there is nothing else like it on Earth. Breastmilk has many other uses, too. Including treating infections (i.e. ear and eye), soothing diaper rash and burns, clearing out and calming inflamed nasal passages and treating skin problems like acne and eczema. Breastmilk is no joke.
Along with personal choice comes responsibility to be honest about said choice. Breastfeeding doesn’t come easily for some women. Some of those women will choose to stop breastfeeding, which is fine. However, I feel we need to own up to those choices and stop telling women how horrible/hard/painful breastfeeding is. Or that enough milk wasn’t being produced. So often do I hear this. I’m sure a lot of women believe this to be true. However, there is often an underlying issue that is causing the problem. Just like in childbirth, you seldom hear a positive breastfeeding story (I know I’d not heard a single one when I was pregnant with my first). Simply because one woman had a negative experience doesn’t mean another woman will. Be supportive of each other. Tell women to see a Lactation Consultant. See one yourself if you have issues next time around. Breastfeeding should be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. Yes, there are times when it can be painful, however, again as in childbirth, pain is a symptom of something going on. It can be corrected. Determination and support can take you a long way!
It is ultimately the mother’s choice whether she breastfeeds or not. Just do your baby a favor. When you are researching the best car seat, stroller, high chair and pack n play, research breastfeeding, too. It is the best gift any child could ever receive.
March 1, 2011
A friend of mine recently suggested I write a post about sex and co-sleeping. One of the first questions a co-sleeper is asked is where you “do it”. If I just came right out with it, this wouldn’t be a very long post. So, I’m going to talk about co-sleeping and what it means to me and my family and then we’ll get to the juicy part.
February 2007 I had my first child. A lot has changed since then. Some think I’ve gone of the deep-end and into the big sea of crunch. I wasn’t as “gung-ho” about attachment parenting and the like. But, I digress. So, I had this baby and we set up a nursery, of course, because that’s what you do. The baby’s room was attached to mine, so he was literally only about ten feet away. Almost like he was right in the room with me. Almost. At first, he was in a bassinet right beside the bed. Then, maybe about six or eight weeks, we moved him to the crib. Things started getting ugly. I was crying a lot; I was feeling really crappy and started letting my husband have it. I reached a breaking point and told my husband if things didn’t change, I was going to need to get some help – I think I have PPA (postpartum anxiety). I would sit and nurse my baby at night in the rocking chair in his room and just cry. I decided I needed him in bed with me. It just seemed like what would work. I could nurse him while lying down and get rest. He could eat and we’d all be happy. Once we started sleeping together, everything changed for the better.
Now, there are so many different terms you hear. Co-sleeping, bed-sharing, sleep-sharing. Co-sleeping means sleeping in the same area. The baby can be in a bassinet beside the bed and that is co-sleeping. Bed- and sleep-sharing are pretty self explanatory. We bed-share. We have a crib coupled to my side of the bed to act as an extension of the sleep area and a safety precaution, as to keep the baby from falling out of bed. My four year old has his own bed in his room that he sleeps in the majority of nights now (this has been going on for about 7 months, before which he was still in our bed). If he does wake up, he can sleep in the crib area or in his “bed” that is on the floor in our room, which is a mattress topper and some blankets. The baby, who is 7 months old, sleeps in our bed every night, since the night she was born (in said bed).
Why do we bed-share? I look at it this way. We spend nine months growing babies in our bodies. Where they are close (doesn’t get much closer, does it), safe and warm. Then, they are born and put immediately to our chest, where they are also close, safe and warm. Our bodies send more blood to the chest so it is warm for our babies. It’s close to food, they can smell us and they feel secure. Why on Earth would we then put them in a crib where they are all alone? I read a great article about how babies sleep during the day and wake at night because they don’t know what year it is. They are awake at night because that is when they need to be fearful of predators. If they are in bed with you, they have a tendency to sleep better because they feel safe. Makes sense, right? And, funny thing, if baby sleeps, so do you! I don’t like sleeping alone. It makes me sad and I feel nervous and scared. I don’t sleep well. Why should we expect a child, who is is still growing, attaching and developing to sleep on their own (and through the night at a very young age)? We let our children decide where to sleep (which is why my son has so many options).
I believe bed-sharing is the safest way to put a child to bed. The mother and infant release hormones that connect them in sleep. Mother is more aware of her child. Breaths and hearts sync. It’s like a beautiful dance. Nursing, changing sides, her little body snuggled close to mine. Adult bodies have a reflex that keeps them from rolling off the bed. That same reflex tells us there is something beside us in bed, which keeps us from rolling over our child. As long as one is not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, bed-sharing is safe. Of course, keeping baby up from under the covers is also a must-do. I realize bed-sharing isn’t for everyone. However, it really helped my family and if one mother is going through what I went through and finds this helpful, my job is done.
Which leads me to – Where do we have sex if we have kids in the bed. This question gets asked so frequently. Really, I don’t quite understand it. Before we had children, we didn’t limit sex to the bed, why would that change after we had them? Our sex life isn’t very vanilla and I would hope more couples would be open to sex out of the bedroom. If you happen to be in bed and the mood strikes, say in the middle of the night, that is when a co-sleeper come in handy. Slide baby over into it and get on with business. However, we also have a living room with a couch. And a sofa-bed. And a floor. Soft blankets are lovely. Weekends are a great time to shower together. Let the older kids watch a movie, put baby in a safe place, like a play pen or bouncy chair in the bathroom, and have a quickie. Get creative! Sex is fun and if you take it out of the bedroom, it will spice things up a bit. My husband and I have been together nearly 10 years and our sex life is still hot!
February 17, 2011
It has been brought to my attention that babywearing in the United States may be in danger. The CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission), seems to think all soft-structured carriers are hazardous due to infant death linked to a few carriers. They are working on getting carriers recalled because of this and are considering this “the beginning of the end” of babywearing in the US. Let me say – I am deeply saddened by the deaths of these children. I cannot imagine the pain that it would bring to lose a child.
That said, babywearing is not dangerous. In fact, it is safer to wear your baby. Kangaroo care (the act of caring for the newborn by keeping baby close to chest in a skin-to-skin manner) regulates body temperature, heartbeat, respiration and keeps baby close to the food source. You can be more aware of baby’s needs and act on them before he gets upset. A baby that is worn cries less often and sleeps better. This can help with mothers coping with PPD. You can clean your house. You can go for walks and keep your hands free to hold other little hands or, our favorite, eat an ice cream cone.
Being a mother gives me a feeling I cannot express in words. In fact, trying to now is making my eyes well with tears. Our babies are small for such a short time and wearing my baby helps me hold them a bit longer. Being a mother is my greatest accomplishment. I don’t want anyone to take something away from me, or future mothers, that is such a powerful tool that contributes to our success.
Please visit Adventures in Babywearing and join in her Call to Action.
Also visit the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance and become a friend. Help them save babywearing in the United States.
October 5, 2010
Breastfeeding has been a part of my life for the past four and a half years (there was a break for a few months, but I was pregnant, so my breasts were working!). My first child breastfed until he was three years old. We had photos taken to celebrate the one year mark. We nursed for comfort and nutrition. Through illnesses and bumps and bruises. My milk dried up when I was about four and a half months pregnant with my third pregnancy (I lost my second pregnancy). When my baby was born, my first child breastfed on occasion and continued to do so into his fourth year. My second child is now 13 months and continues to breastfeed throughout the day and night. I admit, breastfeeding is a little selfish for me. I have to sit down and nurse my sweet baby several times a day. We get to spend time in the rocking chair snuggling. There is nothing in the world like sitting with a squishy baby when the day is hectic. Taking time out to take a breath and just love your children. When we nurse, my daughter will rub my chest or arm and look into my eyes. These tender moments will be cherished for the rest of my life. 
We had photos taken of my daughter nursing when she was a newborn and have year celebration photos planned in the near future. Facebook often deletes breastfeeding photos claiming them to be a violation of their policies. Of course there’s mixed reaction from people. I see a lot of people asking why women take breastfeeding photos to begin with and then why they feel the need to share them. I certainly can’t speak for every breastfeeding mother, but I can tell you my view. We take photos of our children because we want to capture that memory. I’ve seen photos of babies with bottles or taking their first bites of food. The same goes for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is very special to many women who do it. We want to capture those moments and share them with our friends. We are proud. Breastfeeding, even when it come easily and we don’t have hurdles, takes work! It is an accomplishment and deserves to be recorded and have its moment in the sun. Breastfeeding is more than just feeding my child. We are connected on a level I never imagined possible through breastfeeding. It’s incredibly sentimental and emotional for me and I am honored that I am able to share these times with both of my children. 
