Breastfeeding has been a part of my life for the past four and a half years (there was a break for a few months, but I was pregnant, so my breasts were working!). My first child breastfed until he was three years old. We had photos taken to celebrate the one year mark. We nursed for comfort and nutrition. Through illnesses and bumps and bruises. My milk dried up when I was about four and a half months pregnant with my third pregnancy (I lost my second pregnancy). When my baby was born, my first child breastfed on occasion and continued to do so into his fourth year. My second child is now 13 months and continues to breastfeed throughout the day and night. I admit, breastfeeding is a little selfish for me. I have to sit down and nurse my sweet baby several times a day. We get to spend time in the rocking chair snuggling. There is nothing in the world like sitting with a squishy baby when the day is hectic. Taking time out to take a breath and just love your children. When we nurse, my daughter will rub my chest or arm and look into my eyes. These tender moments will be cherished for the rest of my life.

We had photos taken of my daughter nursing when she was a newborn and have year celebration photos planned in the near future. Facebook often deletes breastfeeding photos claiming them to be a violation of their policies. Of course there’s mixed reaction from people. I see a lot of people asking why women take breastfeeding photos to begin with and then why they feel the need to share them. I certainly can’t speak for every breastfeeding mother, but I can tell you my view. We take photos of our children because we want to capture that memory. I’ve seen photos of babies with bottles or taking their first bites of food. The same goes for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is very special to many women who do it. We want to capture those moments and share them with our friends. We are proud. Breastfeeding, even when it come easily and we don’t have hurdles, takes work! It is an accomplishment and deserves to be recorded and have its moment in the sun. Breastfeeding is more than just feeding my child. We are connected on a level I never imagined possible through breastfeeding. It’s incredibly sentimental and emotional for me and I am honored that I am able to share these times with both of my children.

I started taking herbs to prepare my body for conception about a month prior to trying to conceive our second child. It took us over a year to get pregnant with our first and I attribute starting herbs at the success. The second time around I wasn’t waiting! The first month we tried I didn’t get pregnant. No big deal. I didn’t expect to get pregnant right away. So, I continued herbs and we waited for our second opportunity. Waiting is the hardest part in the trying to conceive business. So much waiting. Waiting for fertile days, waiting to test, waiting for that positive test. I was so happy when I didn’t have to wait much this time – our second round took! I was pregnant! The only feeling better than getting a positive test after trying, is holding that sweet baby in your arms. Finding out you are pregnant is just amazing. Knowing the journey you are on and what the result will be. It’s so satisfying.

We were planning a homebirth and I contacted my midwife and let her know we were pregnant. Together we calculated a guess date of May 26, 2010. A week or so later, my husband and I had a trip to the beach planned and our son was excited to go. We were going camping, something we love to do. We got down to the beach and set our tent up and decided to go take a walk on the beach, play a little and then grab dinner on the boardwalk. It was September and a little cool, but it was perfect. Our son dug around in the sand and played. Then it happened. I started cramping. It wasn’t the typical early pregnancy cramping I was familiar with. This was different. I told my husband I wanted to go sit down. So, we went to the restaurant to eat. We ate dinner and I continued to feel cramps. Before we left, I went to the restroom and found that I was spotting. My heart sank. My stomach clenched. I just knew something was wrong. We went back to the campground and I got in the sleeping bag and cried.

In the morning, I got up and immediately went to the wash house to see what my situation was. I was thankful I brought a change of clothing because I had bled through my pajamas. I was in shock. I stood in the stall shaking. I somehow managed to get changed and washed up. When I got back to the tent I told my boys I was very sorry, but we were going to have to leave. My husband packed everything up and we made the trip home. I put a towel on my seat in case I bled through my pants. The ride was long and silent. I remember going through it over and over in my head. Crying and feeling helpless and then switching to denial and thinking it was going to be fine. It was Saturday, September 26th, 2009. I called my midwife on our way home and told her what was going on. She said to rest and she would schedule an ultrasound for Monday. I had the whole weekend to sit and think about what was going on. I continued to go through so many emotions. Denial, anger, sadness. I blamed myself. What had I done? My son plopped on me on Friday, had that caused it? Why did I let him on my lap? It was the worst waiting I’ve ever experienced. I was 7 weeks pregnant and I knew our baby had died.

Monday came and my husband couldn’t go to the ultrasound with me because he had interviews to attend at work. My sister came with me and my son. The tech was nice, but quiet. My sister kept looking at the screen and mouthed she thought she saw a heartbeat. Still, the tech said nothing. When she was finished she said she would have the doctor look over everything and they’d be in. I waited. Again. Finally, she came back in and said she had my midwife on the phone. This is it. It’s bad news. Why else would they get my midwife on the phone? She confirmed what I so desperately wanted to be false. The baby didn’t have a heartbeat and was not viable. She was deeply sorry. She went over what I could expect to happen and to call her when I passed the baby so she could examine everything. I was leaving in a few days to go to Canada to complete my CBE training. She felt that was ok as long as I felt up to it, and that I had to let my trainer know I was miscarrying so she would be aware if anything happened, like hemorrhage. I thanked her and hung the phone up. I looked at my sister and said that the baby had died and just started crying. She held me and my son hugged me. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be out of that room and back at my home where it was safe. I called my husband and let him know the news.

People got really, really weird. They said the most horrible things to me. I know they were trying to help, but really. How could they possibly have thought they were helping by saying things like, “You can try again”, “It could be worse, at least it wasn’t stillborn”, “You’re only 7 weeks, it’s not even a baby, it’s a blood clot”, and “If you hadn’t taken a test, you wouldn’t even had known you were pregnant”. What is a comeback for something like that? My. Baby. Died. Yes, I was “only” 7 weeks pregnant and no one could see a nice, round belly. Maybe they don’t get it. Yes, I would have known I was pregnant! My husband and I were trying to get pregnant! My period was weeks late! What else could it have been?! I wanted to scream at these people. But all I could do was just agree with them. My heart felt like it was ripping out of my chest. I sat on my couch and cried and cried and cried for days. It was hard to breathe. I never expected for an early miscarriage to hurt. So. MUCH. It didn’t matter to me that I was only 7 weeks. I wanted that baby. I loved that baby. It was made out of love. And it died. I would never know if it were a boy or a girl. I would never get to hold him or her in my arms and look into its eyes. I would never smell that wonderful smell of a newborn and breastfeed for the first time. I would never get to kiss her. Or name him. My heart was shattered in pieces and no one seemed to care. Through it all, my 2 and a half year old son was my biggest support. He cried with me that “our baby died” and sat on my lap and hugged me. Children seem to know the perfect way to love us.

Tuesday, September 28th, 2009, my boss told me to take the day off. I thanked him, but said I’d rather not sit around. So, my son and I went to work. I was still cramping and was waiting for everything to happen. I didn’t really know what to expect. I had a break between my middle and elementary school runs and we were resting. I nursed my son as usual. Then something started happening. I was cramping and I got cold sweats. I started shaking. And then I felt it. Something came out of me. I thought I was hemorrhaging. It felt substantial and I was afraid to look down and find that my jeans were saturated with blood. But, I did and there wasn’t any blood. So, I went to check what was going on. There, on the pad I was wearing, was a very large blob. It was a sac about the size of my palm and there were clots with it. I didn’t open the sac. I couldn’t. I put everything on a baby wipe to keep it moist and put it in a plastic bag. I called my midwife and she came over to take a look and said it looked like everything had passed now and that my bleeding should start to let up.

I didn’t know what to do with the sac. I couldn’t throw it out. So, I put it in my freezer. After thinking about it for a few days, I decided I wanted to bury it. We aren’t living in our “forever” home, as I call it, so I didn’t want to do it here. I asked my mom if I could bury it in her flower garden until we moved to our forever home. She seemed a little strange about it, but agreed. I wanted to get a beautiful tin box to put it in and get one of those engraved garden stones. But, time went by and I never did. It stayed in my freezer. One day, months later, my husband asked what was going on with it and I said what I wanted to do. He thought it was time for me to just throw it away. I got angry and said, “Fine! Throw it away then!” And he did. I’m so angry at myself for letting him to that. I have an empty place inside me and feel if I had buried it like I wanted to, it would have helped me heal in some way.

My midwife said we could try again whenever we were ready, but usually 6 weeks is advisable. Just like after having a baby, because that’s what happened after all. I had had a baby, even though I had nothing to show for it. I went to Canada and went through my training. I thought it would be hard talking about babies for 4 days, and it was. There were times during group hypnosis I would sit and cry silently. During a one-on-one hypnosis session, I broke down and started crying. The poor woman doing hypnosis on me was a little shocked, but I couldn’t exactly tell her my womb was bleeding because I had just lost a baby. I wouldn’t have blamed her for running away screaming, but she is now one of my dearest friends.

We got home and my bleeding let up. I was ready to have sex again, but my husband was a little apprehensive. He didn’t want to hurt me, which was understandable. I assured him I was fine and I was ready. It was mid-October. By the end of October I still hadn’t had a period after the miscarriage. It was several days after I expected it to come and said something to my husband. We’d only had sex a couple times, but it is possible to ovulate directly after a miscarriage, before getting a period. I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t expecting to get pregnant that quickly, although I knew I wanted to try again right away. I didn’t want to wait a few months that was recommended on all the web sites I read. It was more for emotional healing they said. I felt the opposite. I wanted to become pregnant again right away. I thought it would help heal me. And it did. I went on to have a very healthy pregnancy and gave birth in the safety of my bedroom on July 1, 2010.

Miscarriage changed me. Prior to experiencing it, I never really thought twice about it. Of course, I felt for women who had been through it, but I never really “got” it. It is different for every woman. Some women aren’t phased by it; others are touched deeply. I do feel like things happen for a reason and we learn from everything. As a childbirth educator and aspiring midwife what I gained from my miscarriage will be invaluable. The compassion I have for women is even greater now. I have joined The Amythyst Network as a loss doula to help women going through loss. What I want people to know is that miscarriage is real. Even if you don’t see it, it is very real and very painful to the woman going through it. Be sensitive. Be loving and kind. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything except, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Open your arms and give her your strength. Let her cry. Listen to her when she speaks. Because that’s all we really want.

For more information about miscarriage and how to help your loved one, visit the following websites.

The Amethyst Network

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Healing Hearts

I let my husband, who only worked a few blocks from home, know about my waves. He offered to come home, but I said it might be practice labor and I’d let him know if he should come. My son, who was 3.5 years at the time, helped me all day. When I would have a wave, I would kneel and he would rub my back and tell me what a great job I was doing! Such a big helper to Momma. Still, they were only coming every 10-15 minutes, but lasting about a minute. And the pressure! I’d never felt pressure like that in all my life.

My husband came home around 4pm and made dinner. Fish. I can’t recall what else we had, but I rested on the couch while he cooked. When dinner was ready, I got off the couch and had a mega wave! I had to breathe through it and opened my belly up. That was that. We ate dinner and everything seemed normal. My loving husband gets a little nervous come birthing and suggested we call my midwife. I wasn’t sure I wanted her to come yet. My mom was already on her way with the ingredients we needed to make birthday cake and rice to make heating pads. I humored my husband and called my midwife. She offered to come, but I declined. I told her I would call back if I thought this was it. This was about 9pm.

We decided to ready our bedroom (birthing room) just in case. Changed the sheets, waterproof cover, got out supplies. I had stripped down to my bra and underwear. This should have been my big clue I was actually in labor. During this time, my waves were coming every 3 minutes and lasting almost 90 seconds. No pain, just incredible pressure! I called my midwife and told her she should stop by. When she got there, my waves had backed off to every 9 minutes. I was convinced this was a false alarm (although I answered my door in my undies!). Because of all the pressure I was having, she wanted to check me. Since my mom, sister and aunt had all gathered in my home, I decided it was a good idea. Either everyone could go home or get comfy for a night of labor! It was around 10:30pm.

We went to my bedroom for privacy and she checked my cervix. Ready for this? I was 8-9cm with a bulging bad of waters! Wha what?! I could not believe I was almost ready to have my baby! I was so excited! Down the stairs I went to announce the news. No one believed it. I couldn’t possibly be that far progressed – there I stood with a smile on my face! Women in advanced labor don’t smile! This one does! We went back to my bedroom where I labored easily on my yoga ball. In between waves, I would sit on the ball and chat. During a wave I would lean against my bed, squat and sway. Letting my belly hang low and loose. A little into it, my midwife suggested I kneel beside my bed and rest my head on the bed. Just about as soon as I did this, my body switched gears and natural expulsive reflex kicked in. There is no way to describe this unless you have experienced it. The only thing I can compare it to is vomiting. It was a force I could not control; my body just took over. It. Was. Amazing. I roared like a lioness. Another thing I could not control. It was automatic. With the first wave like that, my waters released. Two more and my baby’s head was born. Rest. Breathe. I was so thirsty at this point and was begging for a drink. Wave. Shoulders were born and out came my baby girl. She was absolutely perfect and just stared at me. No crying. Just calm, peaceful acknowledgment. 12:03am. Baby M was 8lbs 1/2 oz. and 20 inches long.

One year has brought so much to us. It is an amazing journey to be a Mother. To watch your children grow so quickly. Every day is a miracle. Every day takes my breath away. Sure, we have our hard days, but they are the best hard days. We are learning together and I am blessed to have such wise teachers. The time does seem to go by faster and faster each year. All I can do is close my eyes and breathe in life and love my babies to my fullest capacity. My heart is bursting over.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. Momma loves you with all her heart.

Parenting begins the moment you get that positive pregnancy test. There are ups and downs and so much to learn. When I had my first child, I was always amazed at how “good” he was. Everyone commented on this. We got along wonderfully and grew together. Then something happened. He got older and we started butting heads. I didn’t know how to handle it. Why was this happening? Suddenly, we were fighting and he wouldn’t listen to me. I practice Attachment Parenting and believe in gentle discipline. But, nothing worked.

“Prisons are filled with “well-disciplined” people. A good parent helps a child to learn how his behavior affects his own life through natural consequences. This is how true inner discipline is cultivated.”

Then I heard about the Tao of Motherhood. I’m not really a read-a-book-to-help-guide-you kinda gal, however I didn’t know what else to do. The first awesome thing about the Tao of Motherhood is that it is written in lessons (or poems), which are a few small paragraphs. It’s not a long read. You can quickly go through it and easily mark pages that speak to you loudest. The second awesome thing about it is that it isn’t a “self-help” or your typically parenting book. It’s more like kind words that help you see things more clearly. Once you can see, you will know the Way.

“Return to the real… Touch them with your hands, your eyes, and your heart. Let them bond with the living, breathing world. Let them feel their feelings and teach them their names.”

Maybe the most important lesson I learned from reading the Tao of Motherhood is that we all have a child within us. Sometimes we must heal that child and love her before we can fully function as Mothers. Wounds from our own childhood need to be healed to make us stronger, more gentle Mothers. We can learn from our children. Instead of trying to mold them and figure them out, we must start with ourselves.

“Clear yourself. Find the child within you, heal her, and set her free. As long as the child in you weeps and cringes, your power as a mother will remain confused.”

I think we can all learn something from the Tao of Motherhood. Slow down. Breathe easy. Connect with Self and One. Come back to the Wisdom that our foremothers knew. Mother and child are One. One is in all. When you reconnect with One, all will be clear. Everything we need is within us. It’s just a matter of regaining that wisdom and learning how to use it for the greater good. These lessons will naturally extend into other areas of our lives and peace will reign.

“A wise parent refrains from too much talk. Her inner calm brings peace to troubled hearts and resolutions to conflicts. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval but her own.”

I had my second child in July 2010. I was hoping my period would stay away for at least ten months like it did after my first child. So, when I was six months postpartum (PP), in January, and I had egg-whit cervical mucus (EWCM), I was a little bummed. Not that I mind getting my period. I actually kind of like it. I like watching my body work. I just wanted to keep fertility at bay a bit longer. So, the week after that EWCM, I got my first PP period and I bled for 7 days. Certainly not unusual when the uterus is waking up after having a baby. My usual menstruation lasts about 4 days and isn’t that heavy – that is after switching to a menstrual cup. Before that, I had very heavy period that lasted about 7 days and came with horrible cramps. Once I switched to the cup, it lightened up quite a bit and my cramping almost nearly subsided. My cycles last about 29 days.

When menstruation returns PP, it can be irregular. So, I didn’t know when to expect her return after that January period. I just kept an eye on my cervical mucus and used back up when I had sex. It wasn’t until 45 days later that I got another period. This time it was pretty normal for me and lasted four days. Fifteen days after the end of that period, I had EWCM for two days. Five days later, I got my third period. So, this cycle was 21 days. I thought it would be very helpful and interesting to document menstruation and show photos of a menstrual cup levels. I’m not sure why menstruation is viewed as gross overall. I find it to be very interesting and even empowering. We shouldn’t be embarrassed and uncomfortable talking about it. Why is this ingrained in us?

On the first day of menstruation, I woke up at 3am feeling like she was coming. I went to the bathroom and put in my cup. There are a few different ways to fold a cup for insertion, but this is how I do it. I squeeze my cup to it’s in “half” and then fold it in half, so it looks like a ‘U’. Then, it’s ready for insertion. You just put it in like a tampon and it will pop open. It does take a little practice, but it’s simple and only takes a couple seconds once you get it down. So, I put it in and went back to bed. At 9am, I got in the shower. My routine is this: I get in the shower, remove and rinse my cup. Shower and then put my cup back in before getting out. I typically empty once during the day and then again before bed on my heavier days. Other days I just do the shower rinse and then again before bed. When I took my cup out at 9am it only had a small amount of brownish blood topped off with a nice amount of vaginal fluid. Tampons absorb blood and regular vaginal secretions, which dry out the vagina and can cause tiny, micro-tears. All that can contribute to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). Menstrual cups do not cause TSS. I empty my cup, rinse and put it back in for the day.

Around 11am I got an achy feeling in my labia. Instead of the painful abdominal cramping, I get achy labia. Interesting, right? This only started after the birth of my first child. When I was using tampons after that birth, it wasn’t an ache, but pain that radiated down my thighs. Since I was having this aching, I decided to go check my cup. It was filled up to the inside brim – after only 2 hours. You can see in the photo my fingers are clean – and that IS the hand I removed the cup with. Since everything stays in the cup (and doesn’t “bleed” down a cord) your fingers stay clean! After I emptied it, the aching went away. It came back at 3pm, I emptied my cup (which was nearly full again). I emptied it once more at 7:30pm and it was full again. Before I went to bed at 12:30am I emptied it one last time. I woke up at 6am feeling wet. I went to the bathroom and took my cup out – it had overflowed!! Note my messy fingers. This has never happened to me while using a cup! I wasn’t too excited about this and hoping it isn’t a sign of heavier periods after birth number two. Like I said, I don’t mind my period, however part of enjoying a cup is that you don’t have to change it as often as a tampon. Having to empty my cup every couple hours and leaking overnight, certainly puts a damper on things! Day two stayed very heavy. I had to empty my cup every few hours and it was always nearly full.

Day three was more like it! I was able to revert to my normal schedule and my cup was not quite half full each time I emptied. I don’t have any of the usual PMS symptoms. I don’t get bloated and my breasts aren’t sore. I do, however, crave sweets. Well, crave them more than usual. One of my besties is also menstruating and she mentioned a peanut butter chocolate sundae. Extra gooey. That is all I needed to push me over the chocolate edge. I made a chocolate cream pie the next day. It was glorious! My flow started to slow down a bit into day 4. The blood started to darken up to a deep red and was getting thicker. I find it so fascinating to be able to actually see how much blood is being shed during a cycle. Knowing how much blood you are losing can be beneficial in determining if you are losing “too much”. Large amounts of blood loss can be a sign that something is going on that needs to be addressed by your OB/GYN. My hope is that more women will become comfortable with menstruation and the idea of using a cup. Menstruation is not something to be embarrassed by (it’s only a little blood, after all!). It serves a purpose and it is a beautiful process!

Day five things are coming to a wrap. Light flow turning over to a brown color. You can see the separation of blood and vaginal fluid in the picture. There is more vaginal fluid than blood. Pretty cool, right? This cycle hasn’t been too bad overall. I’m sure it will take a few more to get things ironed out and back to normal for me. I suspect things will revert to four days and be manageable. It’s so convenient not to have to change a tampon or empty a cup on the trail or beach. I kept note of how much fluid I emptied each time and measured it all out at the end. In all this period, I lost approximately 8oz or about 250ml. I was actually a little startled by this, since 80ml is the high end of the normal range and anything over that is considered Menorrhagia, or an abnormally heavy period. I will continue to monitor my flow for my next few cycles and see my HP if things continue on like this.

So, there you have it! I really hope you’ve all enjoyed reading about this and maybe a few of you are even more intrigued about using a menstrual cup now. Give it a go! They are super easy to use, comfortable, good for your body and the Earth, and save you lots of cash every month. I’m also hoping a few women become more open about their periods after reading this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and something to take joy in. Our cycles enable us to have babies! Our bodies are amazing vessels!! Honor your body and be well!

Then I got to thinking – When would it be nice to have a piece or two of nursing clothing? I love wearing dresses, but have given them up since breastfeeding. A nursing dress would come in handy. Also, a top that would allow nursing while babywearing (an opening from the top, instead of pulling the bottom of the shirt up). OK, seems like there are occasions it would be nice and convenient. And, let’s be honest, some of those tops and dresses are lovely! What woman doesn’t like to buy a new article of clothing that makes her feel beautiful? Especially after giving birth when many of us aren’t so confident about our body image? If you have to buy new clothing that fits, why not get a nursing piece that will flatter your new body and serve a purpose?

Expressiva has so many cute things! I had the opportunity to review an item and it was so hard to narrow it down to just one. Like I said before, I use my regular tops to nurse. I’m an at-home mom, so I don’t really need nursing tops to get the job done in my living room. And I do love dresses! So, I chose a dress – The Little Black Nursing Dress, to be exact. I figure I’ll get plenty of use out of it. It’s a little black dress – a staple in every woman’s wardrobe! It’s absolutely adorable! Made of 95% cotton/5% Spandex, it has just the right amount of stretch and has a very flattering cut, hanging in just the right way. It’s so easy to nurse in, too! You lift the front empire waist nursing access and nurse from either side. Because of the Spandex, the dress goes right back to where it should be without getting stretched out. I think the best part of this dress is you can dress it up or down. It looks great with a cardigan and some flats or sans cardi and flip flops instead of flats. So. Cute. I’m 5’8″ and it hits right below my knees. Perfection!

Lucky for me, The Keeper sent me a Moon Cup cup to review! Periods can be a little irregular when your uterus is waking up postpartum, so I anxiously awaited menstruation number two. 45 days later, she came! YAY! I got out my Moon Cup, sanitized it and put it in. Immediately it felt better than my other cup! I was pretty pleased. Very comfortable and I couldn’t feel it at all. The Moon Cup has a longer stem and it stuck out of my vagina a good bit. I left it alone and even slept in it with the regular stem. I got very itchy and a little irritated. I had no leaks overnight, though! So, I got in the shower, emptied and cleaned the cup and cut the stem to half length. Then, it was inside my vagina and I could still feel it and was bothered by it. Against my better judgement, I cut it completely off. Yep. I did it. NO STEM. I’ve got news for you – it’s A-MA-ZING! The Moon Cup is absolutely comfortable and does not leak one bit!

You may be wondering why you should use a cup instead of tampons. Well, there are a few reasons. Tampons absorb regular vaginal secretions, not just blood from menstruation; This encourages the growth of bacteria and that can cause Toxic Shock Syndrome. They can cause tiny little tears on the vaginal wall, they leave cotton “debris” and can change the pH of the vagina. Most tampons are also bleached and contain gross chemicals. Bleached tampons release dioxins and dioxins can cause all sorts of side-affects (like cramping!). Menstrual cups collect menstrual fluid instead of absorbing it. Therefore, your vagina doesn’t get dry like it does with tampons. No vaginal tears and pH isn’t affected. Good enough, right? Add in the environmental factors (over 6.5lbs of trash a year from using tampons!) and the economical factors (one Moon Cup will cost you less than one years worth of tampons – AND you can use the Moon Cup for 10 years!) and there really is no contest!

Well, actually, there is a contest! One lucky reader will win her choice of a Moon Cup or a Keeper! The Moon Cup is made from medical grade silicone, for those with latex allergies or a preference of silicone. The Keeper is made from natural gum rubber, or latex. Both cups come in size A for After childbirth or B for Before childbirth.

PLEASE FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO ENTER! If you do not follow the instructions your entries WILL NOT be counted!

MANDATORY ENTRY: Tell me which cup and size you would want if you win.

EXTRA ENTRIES for one extra entry each:

“Like” TLC Pregnancy and Birth Services on Facebook and comment here you did.

“Like” The Keeper on Facebook, tell them I sent you and and thank for the giveaway, come back here leaving a comment you did.

**Leave a separate comment for each action for a total of three comments/entries!**

Contest ends Monday, March 14th at 10:00am EST. I will select a winner at random using random.org. Good luck!

The Surgeon General put out a call to action to encourage and support more women to breastfeed. Although, it’s stated in the article that breastfeeding is a personal choice. Does that change the fact that breastmilk is the optimum food for infants? Breast is not best. Breast is normal. Breast is standard nutrition for all infants and toddlers. Breastfeeding establishes healthy eating habits, healthy weight, and a healthy immune system. Saying it’s a personal choice doesn’t change those facts. A fact is a fact. It doesn’t mean someone is less of a mother for formula feeding. There is no judgement. However, we can’t deny the facts.

I believe every child deserves to be breastfed. Why do I care? Because nutrition is so important! There is a huge misconception that formula is just as good as breastmilk. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, I realize there are some instances when a mother must give her child formula. No, I don’t think a mother should let her child die instead of giving formula. What I do want is for mothers to be fully informed of the differences and what is in formula. How are we supposed to support and encourage breastfeeding, without, well, encouraging and stating facts? Breastmilk is so complex and it is the absolute perfect nutrition for every child. In addition to real vitamins and minerals, breastmilk contains stem cells, antibodies and healthy fats. An amazing fact – a mother’s breastmilk actually changes to suit her child! It’s so wonderful and there is nothing else like it on Earth. Breastmilk has many other uses, too. Including treating infections (i.e. ear and eye), soothing diaper rash and burns, clearing out and calming inflamed nasal passages and treating skin problems like acne and eczema. Breastmilk is no joke.

Along with personal choice comes responsibility to be honest about said choice. Breastfeeding doesn’t come easily for some women. Some of those women will choose to stop breastfeeding, which is fine. However, I feel we need to own up to those choices and stop telling women how horrible/hard/painful breastfeeding is. Or that enough milk wasn’t being produced. So often do I hear this. I’m sure a lot of women believe this to be true. However, there is often an underlying issue that is causing the problem. Just like in childbirth, you seldom hear a positive breastfeeding story (I know I’d not heard a single one when I was pregnant with my first). Simply because one woman had a negative experience doesn’t mean another woman will. Be supportive of each other. Tell women to see a Lactation Consultant. See one yourself if you have issues next time around. Breastfeeding should be a wonderful experience for everyone involved. Yes, there are times when it can be painful, however, again as in childbirth, pain is a symptom of something going on. It can be corrected. Determination and support can take you a long way!

It is ultimately the mother’s choice whether she breastfeeds or not. Just do your baby a favor. When you are researching the best car seat, stroller, high chair and pack n play, research breastfeeding, too. It is the best gift any child could ever receive.

So, you just go buy a “natural” product and everything is good, right? I’m sorry to have to tell you, it’s not. The term “natural” is not regulated and if a product is “mainly” or contains natural ingredients, it can be labeled “natural”. That means, it can still contain chemical fragrance, preservatives and lathering agents. Tricky, tricky. There are some great products out there, but even those contain one or two chemicals. It’s hard to know what is safe and what isn’t sometimes. There are so many different opinions on the matter. That leaves making your own products, which I simply do not have time for, or you can find great products you have confidence in.

I have found that in Baby Miracles. 100% natural and organic, made in the USA and a local business to me! The body wash/shampoo and body cream are even vegan. These are lush, creamy, so yummy smelling, you’ll want to eat them! As a matter of fact, the slogan is “Products so pure you can actually eat them”! Some of the soothing ingredients include shea butter, aloe vera, avocado oil and coconut oil. So gentle and nourishing for the skin. Forget synthetic fragrances! Essential oils are used to give a just right amount of smell – Patchouli, damask rose, vanilla bean, tea tree, lavender, roman chamomile. In Heaven yet? To top it all off, all the products are backed by a stay-fresh guarantee for one year! There is a full line for babies including a body wash/shampoo combo, body cream, diaper rash ointment, baby powder and a massage cream. These are absolutely amazing products I can really stand behind. Check them out!

February 2007 I had my first child. A lot has changed since then. Some think I’ve gone of the deep-end and into the big sea of crunch. I wasn’t as “gung-ho” about attachment parenting and the like. But, I digress. So, I had this baby and we set up a nursery, of course, because that’s what you do. The baby’s room was attached to mine, so he was literally only about ten feet away. Almost like he was right in the room with me. Almost. At first, he was in a bassinet right beside the bed. Then, maybe about six or eight weeks, we moved him to the crib. Things started getting ugly. I was crying a lot; I was feeling really crappy and started letting my husband have it. I reached a breaking point and told my husband if things didn’t change, I was going to need to get some help – I think I have PPA (postpartum anxiety). I would sit and nurse my baby at night in the rocking chair in his room and just cry. I decided I needed him in bed with me. It just seemed like what would work. I could nurse him while lying down and get rest. He could eat and we’d all be happy. Once we started sleeping together, everything changed for the better.

Now, there are so many different terms you hear. Co-sleeping, bed-sharing, sleep-sharing. Co-sleeping means sleeping in the same area. The baby can be in a bassinet beside the bed and that is co-sleeping. Bed- and sleep-sharing are pretty self explanatory. We bed-share. We have a crib coupled to my side of the bed to act as an extension of the sleep area and a safety precaution, as to keep the baby from falling out of bed. My four year old has his own bed in his room that he sleeps in the majority of nights now (this has been going on for about 7 months, before which he was still in our bed). If he does wake up, he can sleep in the crib area or in his “bed” that is on the floor in our room, which is a mattress topper and some blankets. The baby, who is 7 months old, sleeps in our bed every night, since the night she was born (in said bed).

Why do we bed-share? I look at it this way. We spend nine months growing babies in our bodies. Where they are close (doesn’t get much closer, does it), safe and warm. Then, they are born and put immediately to our chest, where they are also close, safe and warm. Our bodies send more blood to the chest so it is warm for our babies. It’s close to food, they can smell us and they feel secure. Why on Earth would we then put them in a crib where they are all alone? I read a great article about how babies sleep during the day and wake at night because they don’t know what year it is. They are awake at night because that is when they need to be fearful of predators. If they are in bed with you, they have a tendency to sleep better because they feel safe. Makes sense, right? And, funny thing, if baby sleeps, so do you! I don’t like sleeping alone. It makes me sad and I feel nervous and scared. I don’t sleep well. Why should we expect a child, who is is still growing, attaching and developing to sleep on their own (and through the night at a very young age)? We let our children decide where to sleep (which is why my son has so many options).

I believe bed-sharing is the safest way to put a child to bed. The mother and infant release hormones that connect them in sleep. Mother is more aware of her child. Breaths and hearts sync. It’s like a beautiful dance. Nursing, changing sides, her little body snuggled close to mine. Adult bodies have a reflex that keeps them from rolling off the bed. That same reflex tells us there is something beside us in bed, which keeps us from rolling over our child. As long as one is not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, bed-sharing is safe. Of course, keeping baby up from under the covers is also a must-do. I realize bed-sharing isn’t for everyone. However, it really helped my family and if one mother is going through what I went through and finds this helpful, my job is done.

Which leads me to – Where do we have sex if we have kids in the bed. This question gets asked so frequently. Really, I don’t quite understand it. Before we had children, we didn’t limit sex to the bed, why would that change after we had them? Our sex life isn’t very vanilla and I would hope more couples would be open to sex out of the bedroom. If you happen to be in bed and the mood strikes, say in the middle of the night, that is when a co-sleeper come in handy. Slide baby over into it and get on with business. However, we also have a living room with a couch. And a sofa-bed. And a floor. Soft blankets are lovely. Weekends are a great time to shower together. Let the older kids watch a movie, put baby in a safe place, like a play pen or bouncy chair in the bathroom, and have a quickie. Get creative! Sex is fun and if you take it out of the bedroom, it will spice things up a bit. My husband and I have been together nearly 10 years and our sex life is still hot!